When it came to change, my father had it licked. His motto was simply “Don’t let it happen to you.” He proudly wore the same tie he’d had since college. He moved house just three times?ever. But his town and his life were epicenters of low upheaval. For most of us, change is an unavoidable fact, something I (re)discovered when, several years back, I lost my job in a shrinking industry. Far from ruining my life, that seismic shift gave me the chance to do two things I had always hoped to do: live in India and learn a new language (Hindi). In the process, I discovered a lot about how to survive when head-rattling transformations are thrust upon you. Here are some of the tricks I picked up along the way. Read the rest of this entry »
I call it the “leather couch problem,” but it happens to me every time I have to purchase something expensive. I’ll be standing in the furniture store, contemplating my sofa options?do I want the chestnut cotton or the black suede sectional??when I’m suddenly seized with anxiety. What if I choose the wrong one? Beads of nervous sweat gather on my forehead; Ikea is not a fun place to have a mild panic attack.
Although I take my consumer choices seriously, I have always had a knack for making the wrong ones. I was the guy with the outmoded TV and the ill-fitting jeans; I ordered badly at restaurants. Read the rest of this entry »
Whether you’re trekking to an exotic locale or revisiting an old haunt, get more pleasure from your vacation with these pointers. by Pico Iyer
Visiting a new town is like having a conversation. Places ask questions of you just as searchingly as you question them. And, as in any conversation, it helps to listen with an open mind, so you can be led somewhere unexpected. The more you leave assumptions at home, I’ve found, the better you can hear whatever it is that a destination is trying to say to you. Read the rest of this entry »
A chef and a food writer finds strength, insight, and comfort in such simple acts as sharing a cupcake. by Kim O’Donnel
Here’s what I’ve learned from my hours in the kitchen.
1. Small gestures can make a big difference. The day after the Virginia Tech shootings, in April 2007, when my community in northern Virginia was shaken with grief, I found myself baking a batch of lemon cupcakes with milk-chocolate frosting. As I admired their glistening tops, I couldn’t help but wonder: Could a tiny cupcake make the world feel like a more tender place, even for one bite? As I delivered the cupcakes to my neighbors, the smiles on their faces were proof that, yes, indeed it could. Read the rest of this entry »
Her friends and family tried to guide her. But it was only through years of rich experience that she grasped the realities of life.
Occasionally, being better informed leads to better decisions. Mostly, though, I think we make choices based on who we are, not what we know. The lessons here are things that people who knew and loved me tried to tell me. So thank you to my relatives who scolded me in four languages, and to my high school English teacher who watched over me like Cupid with a Ph.D., and to my best friend, who taught me patience. These people did their best to make me smarter in the ways that count. If I had been willing and able to understand them, their words might have tilted me more (and sooner) in the right direction. If I could have, they might have. Or, as my father often said, if your grandmother had balls, she would be your grandfather.
1. Events reveal people’s characters; they don’t determine them. Not everyone with divorced parents has terrible relationships. If two people are hit by a bus and crippled for life, one will become a bitter shut-in; the other, the kind of warm, outgoing person (cheerful despite everything) whom everyone loves to be with. It’s not about the bus, and a dreadful childhood is no excuse. You have the chance to be the person you wish to be, until you die. Read the rest of this entry »
From big whoppers to little white lies, almost everyone fibs on occasion. Here, experts reveal why.
Nearly any adult will tell you that lying is wrong. But when it comes to avoiding trouble, saving face in front of the boss, or sparing someone’s feelings, many people find themselves doing it anyway. In fact, more than 80 percent of women admit to occasionally telling what they consider harmless half-truths, says Susan Shapiro Barash, author of Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Why Women Lie (St. Martin’s Press, $15, amazon.com). And 75 percent admit to lying to loved ones about money in particular. The tendency to tell tales is “a very natural human trait,” explains David L. Smith, Ph.D., associate professor of philosophy at the University of New England, in Biddeford, Maine. “It lets you manipulate the way you want to be seen by others.” To pinpoint how people stretch the truth from time to time and the potential fallout from it, learn the six most common ways that people mislead. Read the rest of this entry »
Other than your own coaching, if you had to recommend one leadership development process what would it be?
I have observed one leadership development process that builds leaders and helps companies make money at the same time – action learning. After seeing how action learning worked at GE and IBM, I am surprised that more companies don’t do it. My friend, Chris Cappy, has spent years in GE, IBM and other major companies implementing action learning. I will let Chris describe the basics of how this process works: Read the rest of this entry »
How do people deal with difficult events that change their lives? The death of a loved one, loss of a job, serious illness, terrorist attacks and other traumatic events: these are all examples of very challenging life experiences. Many people react to such circumstances with a flood of strong emotions and a sense of uncertainty. Read the rest of this entry »
When it came to change, my father had it licked. His motto was simply “Don’t let it happen to you.” He proudly wore the same tie he’d had since college. He moved house just three times?ever. But his town and his life were epicenters of low upheaval. For most of us, change is an unavoidable fact, something I (re)discovered when, several years back, I lost my job in a shrinking industry. Far from ruining my life, that seismic shift gave me the chance to do two things I had always hoped to do: live in India and learn a new language (Hindi). In the process, I discovered a lot about how to survive when head-rattling transformations are thrust upon you. Here are some of the tricks I picked up along the way. Read the rest of this entry »
Other than your own coaching, if you had to recommend one leadership development process what would it be?